by Liang Xianghong

It was lauded as the perfect marriage of director and subject matter. The eighth collaboration between director Tim "King of Emo Goth" Burton and the perpetually offbeat Johnny Depp - I could have sworn those two are twins separated from birth - for a movie adaptation based on Lewis Carroll's wonderfully nonsensical novels. What could possibly go wrong?

The answer, in a nutshell, is Disney. I don't blame them for following a tried and tested formula but come on, not every movie has to simulate a theme park ride to be commercially successful! If you were expecting a dark, twisted flick à la the decade old video game American McGee's Alice (which was scheduled for the big screen starring Sarah Michelle Gellar but cancelled, unfortunately) then you're in for a major disappointment. It comes as no surprise, then, that Tim Burton is under flak for selling out.

In this version of Alice, our waifish protagonist (borderline anorexic Mia Wasikowska) returns to the now desolate Underland where her former companions question her identity and she her own sanity. She is attacked by strange creatures in passable action sequences and stumbles around aimlessly before being guided by the Cheshire Cat to the Mad Hatter (Johhny Depp chanelling Willy Wonka/Jack Sparrow). The first meeting between Alice and Mad Hatter is possibly the best scene in the entire film, featuring a depressing Burton-esque set mocking the gaiety of the original tea party. Coupled with a deliciously whimsical performance by Johnny Depp, we catch a glimpse of what the movie should have been.

We are treated to more filler escapades before Alice is brought to the White Queen (Anne Hathaway acting really creepy), who tasks her to defeat the fearsome Jabberwocky, champion of the evil Red Queen (delightfully off kilter Helena Bonham Carter). Helena effortlessly steals every scene she appears in with her hilarious insecurity. After much griping by Alice, the two sides eventually meet on the battlefield to duke it out in a suitably climatic finish. I won't spoil the ending for you but it ends extremely predictably anyway. Hint: the good guys always win the day.

Tim Burton's Wonderland is undeniably visually lavish but the entire film simply feels hollow, like the director was simply marking off his usual checklist. Gnarled trees? Check. Gothic makeup? Check. Johnny Depp? Check. That reminds me - thanks for the paycheck. Next movie please! The use of 3D felt forced and gimmicky; something tacked on in an attempt to imitate Avatar's success. The end result resembles a really pretty children's picture book that is also utterly forgettable at the same time.

Halfway through the show, I started asking myself: what's the point of making this movie if you have nothing new to say? The magic behind Carroll's classics was the ingenuity in the way it stirred the reader's imagination but Burton's wonderland literally leaves nothing to the imagination, preferring to continuously bombard us with flashy images instead. Kids will probably have a Frabbulous time (it IS a Disney movie after all) but really, there's nothing much for grown ups.

Goodness, I do believe Tim Burton might have jumped the Jabberwocky on this one.